Im at odds. Ive got a few cards i can play, but i dont know which hand to pick. Like a good game of big 2 you have to play ahead. One hand, i can put down on the table right now, and i can just win this game, but theres a good chance im gonna get chopped by life. But then again i can win. On the flipside, i can take it slow. Play my cards safe and sound, and even if i dont win, at least i can take 2nd or 3rd.
Winter is coming soon, and i wanna win this game now. But i dont wanna fall on my face again, and have to wait for the game to be done.
shit...i wanna play some big 2 right now
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
its coming to me
dumbstruck and dumbfound,
im thinkin its safe and sound,
that the way im feelin is laughable,
and even if it seems ineffable,
i seen everything inside,
and this really aint where my heart wants to reside
im thinkin its safe and sound,
that the way im feelin is laughable,
and even if it seems ineffable,
i seen everything inside,
and this really aint where my heart wants to reside
Monday, August 18, 2008
Ill start with vivian
Six years goes by like a flash if youre not paying attention. But i was, and i was paying attention to people. Its almost impossible to speculate who is going to be there in the future, but fuck impossibility when you have something called faith.
I think i want to write about everyone i have faith in right now, at this point in my life.
Ill start with Agent Nguyen
I can honestly say, i didnt give a shit about this girl in 6th grade. Actually that sounds kind of brutal. How bout, i just didnt care for her. And that held some truth for about two years. I really dont know what happened but in a matter of year she became something vital to me, and it hasnt changed since.
It began sometime when i was still a whiny little bitch, and just HAD to go to her about all my bullshit. She heard about everything, and thank god for her, cause i woulda went crazy and bugged someone with less patience who would have then shot me with a fiery ball of anger. But somewhere along the line, i began to, to....idolize her. She seemed like such an infallible character to me, never falls, never breaks(she never REALLY has). And one day she stopped listening to me, and i took a cue. I broke myself down only in hopes of becoming big and strong like her (funny i say that cause i could probably pick her up and toss her). I think i came close, but no dice.
Honestly, i dont know how i would be without her. I REALLY dont. Most people you can take a guess. For example, without lets say....my mom, i wouldnt be born right? Your dentist, youd be at another dentist. Well with her, i really cant guess.I wouldnt want to guess though, cause i wouldnt want to have it any other way, then with her.
And with that, i come back to faith. Many people dont carry this with them when they leave. But im not leaving, im staying, others are leaving, and im going to carry the faith for them. And Vivian, is a driving factor for the reason i have faith in the friendships ive made, and the friendships that i believe will carry on for many years. She gives me faith that i can write about her in another seven years, faith that i can see her husband, her kids, her grand kids. Faith, that i can grow old with her, and reminisce, about how all it took to get there, was faith.
God is the only source of faith for some people, but not for me. My faith comes from vivian.
This blog sucks by the way. Only cause it doesnt do me any justice of how i feel about this girl
I think i want to write about everyone i have faith in right now, at this point in my life.
Ill start with Agent Nguyen
I can honestly say, i didnt give a shit about this girl in 6th grade. Actually that sounds kind of brutal. How bout, i just didnt care for her. And that held some truth for about two years. I really dont know what happened but in a matter of year she became something vital to me, and it hasnt changed since.
It began sometime when i was still a whiny little bitch, and just HAD to go to her about all my bullshit. She heard about everything, and thank god for her, cause i woulda went crazy and bugged someone with less patience who would have then shot me with a fiery ball of anger. But somewhere along the line, i began to, to....idolize her. She seemed like such an infallible character to me, never falls, never breaks(she never REALLY has). And one day she stopped listening to me, and i took a cue. I broke myself down only in hopes of becoming big and strong like her (funny i say that cause i could probably pick her up and toss her). I think i came close, but no dice.
Honestly, i dont know how i would be without her. I REALLY dont. Most people you can take a guess. For example, without lets say....my mom, i wouldnt be born right? Your dentist, youd be at another dentist. Well with her, i really cant guess.I wouldnt want to guess though, cause i wouldnt want to have it any other way, then with her.
And with that, i come back to faith. Many people dont carry this with them when they leave. But im not leaving, im staying, others are leaving, and im going to carry the faith for them. And Vivian, is a driving factor for the reason i have faith in the friendships ive made, and the friendships that i believe will carry on for many years. She gives me faith that i can write about her in another seven years, faith that i can see her husband, her kids, her grand kids. Faith, that i can grow old with her, and reminisce, about how all it took to get there, was faith.
God is the only source of faith for some people, but not for me. My faith comes from vivian.
This blog sucks by the way. Only cause it doesnt do me any justice of how i feel about this girl
i can see
yes. i can see. I used to make fun of people who made blogs. Self indulgent assholes who love to look back on their life and then reveal everything they want people to know about themselves.
interesting im writing one.
But i see now, its not just for assholes.
interesting im writing one.
But i see now, its not just for assholes.
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